verge (vʉrj) noun the edge, brink, or margin (of something): also used figuratively the verge of the forest, on the verge of hysteria
verg′·ing to tend or incline (to or toward) to be in the process of change or transition into something else; pass gradually (into) dawn verging into daylight
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Seriously...
...I had been to the store, the gas station, and the post office before I looked down and saw my feet.
Welcome to the verge. I like its meaning. Certainly I am on the brink or edge of many things. I was on quite a verge a few years ago. I didn't like it then as I do now. Reeling from a divorce, I didn't know how I would support myself, pay the mortgage or even replace the light bulbs. My family didn't seem as daunted as I was. You can do it, they'd say. I don't know how, I'd say back.
While I was trying to figure all that out, I began walking dogs. I didn't think about its significance--I just did it. I used the walks to plan my future and its details. Walk after walk I pondered my fate, coming up with a tangle of ideas but no One Thing that would snap my life into place. Months went by. More walks, more dogs. Now some cats. 80 Giant Rabbits. A bird. A goldfish. Suddenly I was too busy living my life to plan it. And, I was liking the living.
The dogs--those dogs. They walk me through it. They never have to say a word. Always, they are happy when I arrive. They show me how to walk, and how not to worry. We spend our walks on the verge. But instead of rushing to get Somewhere, they are curious about verge-ness. They read it, and they linger there.
So here I live, on this verge. The daughters have been launched but there's a house to sell, and work to find. I must make major decisions and soon--but for that, I turn to these four-legged friends and allow them to show me the way. Who knows what's next? Let's just go out for a walk, linger awhile, and not worry about it.
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