verge (vʉrj) noun the edge, brink, or margin (of something): also used figuratively the verge of the forest, on the verge of hysteria
verg′·ing to tend or incline (to or toward) to be in the process of change or transition into something else; pass gradually (into) dawn verging into daylight
You sound like you're making peace with someof the more uncomfortable rites of passage of our early 50's life. We evidentally have a lot more in common now than when we were just cello-kids at Ithaca. Though I didn't get to do any mother-ing (sigh!),I did marry and divorce, got a masters' with intention to be a Social worker- therapist (only got to the agency level before the 1st recession hit in '92) And I have been a dog-walker and cat sitter (TOO part-time lately)and am also pretty familiar with the verge, though I often feel it more as if it were a stagnant thing, sometimes hard to push forward and see over to the other side of the chasym... You sound brave and embracing of the challenge. Do you still play regularly- are you in any kind of community orchestra? Check out my facebook contact information and e-mail me sometime, okay? (I share my own apartment-based life with a fun senior labrador mix gal and 2 kitties..)And I am blessed also with some incredibly gracious, large-hearted and loyal friends -to whom the noun 'love' IS a verb-to share this part of the Big Picture...
Welcome to the verge. I like its meaning. Certainly I am on the brink or edge of many things. I was on quite a verge a few years ago. I didn't like it then as I do now. Reeling from a divorce, I didn't know how I would support myself, pay the mortgage or even replace the light bulbs. My family didn't seem as daunted as I was. You can do it, they'd say. I don't know how, I'd say back.
While I was trying to figure all that out, I began walking dogs. I didn't think about its significance--I just did it. I used the walks to plan my future and its details. Walk after walk I pondered my fate, coming up with a tangle of ideas but no One Thing that would snap my life into place. Months went by. More walks, more dogs. Now some cats. 80 Giant Rabbits. A bird. A goldfish. Suddenly I was too busy living my life to plan it. And, I was liking the living.
The dogs--those dogs. They walk me through it. They never have to say a word. Always, they are happy when I arrive. They show me how to walk, and how not to worry. We spend our walks on the verge. But instead of rushing to get Somewhere, they are curious about verge-ness. They read it, and they linger there.
So here I live, on this verge. The daughters have been launched but there's a house to sell, and work to find. I must make major decisions and soon--but for that, I turn to these four-legged friends and allow them to show me the way. Who knows what's next? Let's just go out for a walk, linger awhile, and not worry about it.
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Hi Alice,
ReplyDeleteYou sound like you're making peace with someof the more uncomfortable rites of passage of our early 50's life. We evidentally have a lot more in common now than when we were just cello-kids at Ithaca. Though I didn't get to do any mother-ing (sigh!),I did marry and divorce, got a masters' with intention to be a Social worker- therapist (only got to the agency level before the 1st recession hit in '92) And I have been a dog-walker and cat sitter (TOO part-time lately)and am also pretty familiar with the verge, though I often feel it more as if it were a stagnant thing, sometimes hard to push forward and see over to the other side of the chasym... You sound brave and embracing of the challenge. Do you still play regularly- are you in any kind of community orchestra? Check out my facebook contact information and e-mail me sometime, okay?
(I share my own apartment-based life with a fun senior labrador mix gal and 2 kitties..)And I am blessed also with some incredibly gracious, large-hearted and loyal friends -to whom the noun 'love' IS a verb-to share this part of the Big Picture...
Be well,Alice!
Nina
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